The Femme Show performance went great! Doing my piece was both intensely exciting and deeply self-affirming. The house was full and the crowd enthusiastic; I got laughs and cheers and applause...not always on the lines I thought I would, which was interesting, but I was able to roll with that. I achieved my main ambition going in which was to relax into the performance and take the time I needed to feel the sexy symbiotic give-and-take with the audience. And I got lots of compliments after, which was of course gratifying; especially meaningful were those from my fellow performers, whose work I admired, and the one from a trans man who had been in the audience who thanked me sincerely for speaking for us T's of the LGBT. My fellow performers were kind and accepting and supportive, and I learned an enormous amount about theater, writing, and performance from them in a very short time - soaking up that thespian lore like a sponge. From the bottom of my heart, Femme Show darlings, thank you for including me! :-)
So I am already mulling next steps...I definitely want to do this again...new material, new venue...I need more experience...maybe a one-woman show someday...hmmm...happy mulling...
And, since I don't have to try to entice you to the show any more, here is my script from last night, if you're curious:
Enter all trannied up - breast forms, hip pads, tranny-mane wig, high heels, etc.
Hi, my name is Lisa, and I am a tranny - which I get to say because I am one. I’m so happy to be here tonight, being seen by you!
As you can see, I have put on for you this evening the best patiche I can manage of the hyper-sexualized stereotype of femininity foisted upon us by our hetero-normative, cis-gender dominant, masculinity-privileging culture. I hope you like it.
Actually, let me say that again: I hope *you* like it, because honestly, I don’t. This is fun to put on every once in a while, but it’s not me. Literally, this is not me.
Pull out a breast form: *This* is not me...
The other: And this is not me...
Take off hips: And this is not me...
Wig off: And this is not me...
And the shoes...I do love the shoes, but I’m already too fucking tall without them. Take off shoes.
That was four layers of gender right there: a trans woman born in a male body, double re-crossdressed as a man in drag!
Now that I am less complicated and more comfortable, I’m here this evening for two reasons. The first reason is, whenever there’s an LGBT event going on, I do like to do whatever I can to make sure that the T is not just hinted at, but, you know, really *firmly* tacked on the end there.
And, the second reason is, I have something to say about the subject of the evening, femininity.
And you might be saying to yourself, yeah, right, who made you Ms. fabulous queen expert on the subject? Well, think about it: a trans-woman has to study and theorize and practice and then dare to assert every single aspect of her femininity in the world...so, we tend to have very clear and detailed ideas of what we mean by that word. In fact, I myself, through my gender work, have discovered the elusive golden secret of femininity....and I am here to share it with you...maybe, if I feel like it.
While you’re waiting to find out if I am in the mood, I *can* mention right off a couple of things that we are definitely *not* talking about this evening.
Scenario one: my grandmother’s generation:
Yes dear. Whatever you say, dear. (My goodness, you are so stupid sometimes.) Whatever you say, dear. (I cannot believe you just said that.) Whatever you say, dear. Whatever you say.
Debunked forty years ago, thank goodness...and good riddance!
Scenario two: my mother’s generation:
I am as good as any man, and I am going to prove it by being as much like a man as I can be. I can and will out-masculinize my husband and all those other macho male-type manly men out there. So there. I mean, huh!
Which admittedly had some good ideas in it, and lead to some beneficial social changes, but I don’t think we’re there quite yet.
Which brings us to this generation, the present day...and I guess I’ve tantalized you enough, so I’ll tell. The elusive golden secret of femininity. Here’s how it goes. Hold my hand...and I’ll just tease you some more.
Sorry, I can’t seem to help it. But I’m running out of time...so here it is for real. Hold my hand (and take me to dinner and buy me flowers and tell me I’m beautiful), and I’ll just tease you. But: take me in your arms and kiss me with tenderness and passion...and then I’ll whisper a hint in your ear. Just a hint. Would you like that? I know I would.
I am aware that I am still teasing. I do so enjoy it. But on the other hand, I am extremely empathetic, (Oh, darlings, I *do* feel your pain), so I will always give you satisfaction in the end....probably.
OK, all teasing aside...I am really, REALLY, going to tell you now...the elusive golden secret. Hold my hand (and take me to dinner and buy me flowers and tell me I’m beautiful), and I will just tease you some more. Kiss me with tenderness and passion...and I’ll whisper a hint in your ear. But if you want the Truth with a capital T, the Answer with a capital A (hey, T and A, how about that); if you want me to share the elusive golden secret with you; then...well, then, you must promise to love me and treasure me and cherish me for always and always...and then...well, then I’ll *show* you.
Ta-ta, darlings! It’s been fun. Catch me if you can!
Exit.