Since getting SRS last summer I have had no sexual sensation or libido. They told me it can take up to two years for the nerves to recover, so I have been trying to practice patience, but a few weeks ago a trans woman friend told me about a friend of hers who had the same problem, and she said that "a tiny slosh" of testosterone made a world of difference.
OK then. I made an appointment with my endo, and he prescribed a custom-blended testosterone cream, to be applied to some area of soft skin - forearm, stomach, inner thigh - once a day. It's a cautious low dose to start, in a form detectable by blood test, so they can track my levels.
I took the first dose yesterday, sitting in my car before walking into work. Then a guy looked at me funny in the parking garage and I beat the crap out of him.
Kidding. I haven't noticed any effect so far.
Evidence that this will help is largely anecdotal, but I figure, what the hell, worth a try. If there are unpleasant side effects - if I bulk up, or my chest hair comes back, or I start balding again, or I just don't like how I feel - I can always stop again.
Interesting: apparently I'm psychologically ready to turn back at least a little bit toward masculinity again. The vehement insistence phase is ending, is how I read that. I don't have to drive the point of my femininity home every second any more. What I wrote in that college diary was "I am mostly female." Not 100% pure essence of female. A mix, like (I suspect) everyone else.
And I want my sexy back, damn it, if my artfully mutilated body is still capable of it. I don't think it's selfish or unreasonable of me to want to experience female sexuality the same as any woman born woman. I have as much right to desire and arousal and orgasms as anyone else.