One morning a few weeks back, getting dressed, I looked at the thick
waistband of my jockey shorts and thought, I don't wear these any more.
So I put on one of the few pairs of cotton panties I had acquired up to
that point, then stopped on the way to work and bought a couple
six-packs more of basic knickers, and it's been girl-underwear ever
since.
A few days later, I more or less retired most of the rest of my male wardrobe. I haven't taken big bags to Goodwill yet, but I have been dressed as a woman for the last couple of weeks, and it is my plan to go on dressing as a woman for the rest of my life, from here on out. The only time I am still wearing man-clothes is when I go running...and I'll fix that too at some point.
The thing I didn't figure out looking forward to this moment was that I could wear shorts and tops and shoes which, while definitely from the women's clothing half of the store, would appear as basically gender-neutral out in the world. I thought it was going to be man-jeans and man-shirts until one day it was skirts and blouses. Androgyny-play, yay! :-)
Turns out many of my women friends shop routinely on the man-side of the store, and hardly any of my acquaintance of either gender dress very femme at all. A few weeks ago I went to a play in a dress and heels and was the only woman in the audience wearing a dress or heels. Getting into dressing femme begins to feel like rediscovering some arcane lost art...Japanese Tea Ceremony...
An advantage emerges of having come out as trans early in the process. Now everyone around me knows about my gender work, and basically gets along fine with however I am presenting. On Friday I did push over the line, with the frankly femme white top, big earrings, and hair soft and full with an elastic headband, and saw my friends and coworkers' eyes flicker as they figured out how to deal...but it was OK. I was still wearing it all when I got home, and waved at a couple of neighbors who stared back, so I'm coming out now in my neighborhood...I used to fear, now I just don't care...people deal.
That's the most important thing I'm learning. People deal. Meaning, they just don't care that much. I mean, think about the big things I've learned about some of my friends lately: life-threatening disease, sexual orientation, matrimony...and none of these pieces of news has moved me to more than easy condolence or congratulation...I'm as self-centered as the next person...and I take comfort in knowing that you're the same. So thanks for bothering to read all the way to the end.... :-)
A few days later, I more or less retired most of the rest of my male wardrobe. I haven't taken big bags to Goodwill yet, but I have been dressed as a woman for the last couple of weeks, and it is my plan to go on dressing as a woman for the rest of my life, from here on out. The only time I am still wearing man-clothes is when I go running...and I'll fix that too at some point.
The thing I didn't figure out looking forward to this moment was that I could wear shorts and tops and shoes which, while definitely from the women's clothing half of the store, would appear as basically gender-neutral out in the world. I thought it was going to be man-jeans and man-shirts until one day it was skirts and blouses. Androgyny-play, yay! :-)
Turns out many of my women friends shop routinely on the man-side of the store, and hardly any of my acquaintance of either gender dress very femme at all. A few weeks ago I went to a play in a dress and heels and was the only woman in the audience wearing a dress or heels. Getting into dressing femme begins to feel like rediscovering some arcane lost art...Japanese Tea Ceremony...
An advantage emerges of having come out as trans early in the process. Now everyone around me knows about my gender work, and basically gets along fine with however I am presenting. On Friday I did push over the line, with the frankly femme white top, big earrings, and hair soft and full with an elastic headband, and saw my friends and coworkers' eyes flicker as they figured out how to deal...but it was OK. I was still wearing it all when I got home, and waved at a couple of neighbors who stared back, so I'm coming out now in my neighborhood...I used to fear, now I just don't care...people deal.
That's the most important thing I'm learning. People deal. Meaning, they just don't care that much. I mean, think about the big things I've learned about some of my friends lately: life-threatening disease, sexual orientation, matrimony...and none of these pieces of news has moved me to more than easy condolence or congratulation...I'm as self-centered as the next person...and I take comfort in knowing that you're the same. So thanks for bothering to read all the way to the end.... :-)
Yay for you Lisa! It is an honor and a pleasure to be witnessing your transition!
Posted by: Branden | 06/27/2010 at 11:37 AM
I've always preferred men's pants - except for LL Bean, which seem to fit - the others are just wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Posted by: ~jw | 06/27/2010 at 07:14 PM
Yay, for retiring old clothes! Changing wardrobes was a real relief for me. I've been transitioning for 5 years and I'm still figuring out my style, but it's cool. Also: Yay, for people dealing! Cheers!
Posted by: Ghost Rider | 06/27/2010 at 09:39 PM
That's a totally great point! People are pretty much absorbed with their own problems. Awesome blog!
Posted by: Xander K | 08/11/2010 at 05:51 PM