Tomorrow morning, or later this morning to be precise, I have a doctor's
appointment which will result in the prescriptions which will
allow me to begin hormone therapy.
My regimen will include estrogen and another drug which will suppress the action of testosterone in my body. Once an initial ramp-up period is done, I should have serum levels of both estrogen and testosterone which are considered normal for a healthy young adult woman.
Gradually, over the coming months, I will begin to grow breasts. My skin will get softer; I may lose some or most of my body hair (oh, yes please); I will lose strength and muscle mass, especially in my upper body; my fat reserves may redistribute somewhat, settling more in the hips and ass (oh, yes please); and I may become significantly more emotional than I already am, which is already a lot, and find myself crying when I drop the pesto spoon or the like...not so much yes please, but I'm willing to roll with it.
There might also be a third drug which would supplement the feminizing effects of the other two, and possibly reverse some of the head-hair thinning I've experienced over the years as a male-bodied person.
This feels to me like the point of no return. Once I take that first pill, the light at the far end of the tunnel will be closer than the light behind, and it will be full steam ahead until I emerge into the sun-glare of life as a woman...an outcome which, even though I have been thinking about it and working on it constantly for the last eighteen months, I still cannot really imagine.
To put it another way, this feels like my last chance to turn back. My last chance to stay a man. And as soon as I type the words, I know it is unthinkable. I am already completely not a man. I am a woman. I am a woman. I am a woman. And I want this. I want to be who I know I am. I want to live. I want to love. I want to be.
I also want to sleep, but that may not happen much tonight... :-)
Love,
Lisa
My regimen will include estrogen and another drug which will suppress the action of testosterone in my body. Once an initial ramp-up period is done, I should have serum levels of both estrogen and testosterone which are considered normal for a healthy young adult woman.
Gradually, over the coming months, I will begin to grow breasts. My skin will get softer; I may lose some or most of my body hair (oh, yes please); I will lose strength and muscle mass, especially in my upper body; my fat reserves may redistribute somewhat, settling more in the hips and ass (oh, yes please); and I may become significantly more emotional than I already am, which is already a lot, and find myself crying when I drop the pesto spoon or the like...not so much yes please, but I'm willing to roll with it.
There might also be a third drug which would supplement the feminizing effects of the other two, and possibly reverse some of the head-hair thinning I've experienced over the years as a male-bodied person.
This feels to me like the point of no return. Once I take that first pill, the light at the far end of the tunnel will be closer than the light behind, and it will be full steam ahead until I emerge into the sun-glare of life as a woman...an outcome which, even though I have been thinking about it and working on it constantly for the last eighteen months, I still cannot really imagine.
To put it another way, this feels like my last chance to turn back. My last chance to stay a man. And as soon as I type the words, I know it is unthinkable. I am already completely not a man. I am a woman. I am a woman. I am a woman. And I want this. I want to be who I know I am. I want to live. I want to love. I want to be.
I also want to sleep, but that may not happen much tonight... :-)
Love,
Lisa
I am in awe of you, and I'm looking forward with love.
Posted by: Deb | 06/08/2010 at 03:16 AM
This is a really exciting time. Just keep in mind this is a SLOW process and you are in control of this ride! :-) Good luck and congrats!
Posted by: Alex | 06/08/2010 at 05:07 PM
Congratulations! Let us know how it goes. You'll have to let us know your availablity for coffee sometime - we missed you when we recently had coffee with your romantic interest. :)
Posted by: Zack | 06/08/2010 at 06:33 PM