Tonight there's a big drag show in Portland, the Royal Majesty show, and I plan to attend dressed. Since I lost my nerve the last time I planned to go out, this will still be the first time since that man yelled "faggot" at me in the Goodwill parking lot, several weeks ago now.
This will be my first time in public wearing a dress. It has always been jeans or a skirt and a top before. It's a sleeveless shapewear-hugging black and silver sheath. I'll also be wearing the red-gold tranny-mane for the first time in public, plus stockings, heels, perfume, and several pieces of favorite jewelry. The look I'm aiming for is gorgeous elegance.
New dress, new hair, a new high-water mark of femme presentation...but I intend the biggest first tonight to be internal. Up until now when I've gone out in public I have felt all fluttery and vulnerable. My self-confidence, normally so reliable, has deserted me. Tonight I intend to hold my head high and look everyone right in the eye and strut my stuff. I give myself permission, right now and forever more, to feel at home and free in my femininity no matter where I am or who I'm with.
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