A couple of weekends ago I took Daughter17 to the college fair at the enormous indoor track at the University of Southern Maine. Several hundred families of high school seniors milled about between the long rows of tables. Daughter17 and her friend disappeared into the crowd, so I took the opportunity to sit and observe how the other feminine parents of the college-bound were presenting.
Most of them were wearing pretty much what I was wearing: baggy blue jeans, sneakers, cotton shirts/tops, and comfy sweaters. In my standard man-getup, by the dominant style of the room, I was practically dressed in femme mode myself. (I don't get it...don't the women of this country realize how much fun they could be having?) Anyway, there were only two femme-markers consistently on display in that cavernous place: lot of nice earrings, and lots of lovingly cared-for hair.
I'm growing my hair out, in hopes of finding a style which will liberate me from the wig in femme mode, but which I can still also creatively comb, gel, and/or behat into something which will still work in male mode too...but I'm beginning to realize that my options are limited. I've been paying close attention to hair, and, at least in my part of Maine right now, M and F haircuts appear to be almost completely segregated.
For example, any hair over the ears on a man starts to look out of place. Likewise, shaving sideburns all the way off, as I have done, though by itself it doesn't excite comment. And any bounce or body, even in shortish hair, signals femininity as well.
Heavy bangs would be my best option, to disguise my masculine receding hairline, but I don't think I can pull them off unless I never take off my red sox cap. Bangs are definitely out for men.
Next best: a ponytail...but they have their gender-specific elements too. Women's ponytails tend to have neat flippy ends, having been cut to all the same length, while men's ponytails, even the well-kept ones, tend to dwindle down to a straggly point. Guess which one I want... flip, flip, delightfully tickling my neck... :-)
And then there is the issue of color. There are some men my age (47) coloring their hair, but almost all the women are, and more aggressively too, usually completely eliminating the grey...yes, even in the earthy-crunchy liberal company I keep. The coloring jobs on the women I meet often look professionally done, with streaks and highlights...a lot like my favorite wig as it happens.
I begin to surmise that as long as I keep my more-salt-than-pepper-these-days natural color, I can get away with a fairly femme cut without tipping the gender balance...including bangs? Well, maybe not that far. But the flip side is, even with my hair in the awkward in-between place it is now, if tomorrow I shaved close and wore gender-neutral clothes and then got a professional femme-style color job, I might start eliciting double-takes...
Interesting. A pro color job becomes another possibly provocative step to contemplate...someday, when I like the length and can afford it.
One nice thing about growing your hair out: it doesn't cost anything.
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