My night out went fine, thanks for asking. Two sweet moments among many: by chance I bumped into Christine, my counselor, just outside her office, and she completely failed to recognize me; and later I made my first retail purchase ever in femme mode, a bottle of dark pink nail polish at a supermarket. (That same polish now lends my nails, longer than they have ever been in my life, extra strength as I type.)
The highlight of the evening was the peer support meeting at MaineTransNet. There were six of us there; three transmen and three transwomen, in various stages of gender transition. I love that it was balanced. I've heard and sometimes observed that there are gaps and frictions between these two trans communities...but at this one little new struggling non-profit at least, I have always felt that trans is trans, and that the emotional universals of living the gender-untruth, coming out (or not), deciding to transition (or not), and going through with it (or not) far outweigh the relatively trifling detail of which direction you happen to be moving.
I feel a strong affinity with my new FTM friends...perhaps because they're working so diligently to be male, and I did too, for those 42 years. There's a weird flip-flop there, because that part was my problem and for them it's the solution, but still, I resonate to their stories. Also, toward some of the younger of my new boi-friends I feel a nurturing impulse...like I'm their surrogate trans-mom. How's that for gender-bendy? :-)
Tomorrow I'm going shopping again, with my new girlfriend Christina the Fashion Lesbian; and, on Saturday, I'm mulling which of two MTF-dominant social gatherings down Boston way to drop in on...the fairly staid social club one, or the tight skirt karaoke bar one.
...and all the time, underneath, I'm bracing for next week, when I plan, after months of preparation, to have The Talk with my two children, Daughter17 and Son14.
Interesting times.
Comments